LEE is a wisecracking, cynical, private investigator. In this monologue, he’s talking to some other guys in a bar about his views on marriage.
LEE: I don’t know.
Being married… Its like…Its like chewing the same damn gum over and over and over for the rest of your life. Sometimes, sometimes you need some new gum!
(Pause)
Some Juicy Fruit. Huh?… Some Bazooka! Boom, Pow! Fidelity, hey, for my money Im all for it. But its not the same thing as monogamy.
This is a common mistake. Monogamy—its demeaning, its an imposition on nature. Nature abhors a wedding. Its blackmail! The whole thing. And that’s all it is.
(Pause)
And they work it so the only fucking thing harder’n bein’ married is getting divorced. Know how easy it is to get a divorce in Egypt? You walk up to her and say:”I divorce thee, I divorce thee, I divorce thee”. Three times. Boom!
That was like in olden times. Tijuana, you get a divorce for what, fifty bucks. Here? Christ. Here its easier to fake your own death. My wife, we litigated like wolverines…You think you know somebody? You’re say your married to her, you live with her? So what. You divorce somebody you see shit you never seen before.
(Pause, he drinks, thinks.)
…People are vicious fucks. You know? People are savage, flesh-eating vicious fucks…and I happen to have a high opinion of people.
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