Generally speaking, actors are normally too apologetic about themselves or their craaft. We tend to victimize ourselves somehow (specially at auditions) because we feel lucky to be given a chance, or time, or a meeting, so we value other peoples time more than our own. How many times have you been at an audition, had to start over or simply been given feedback and started by saying: "Im sorry". Or, "Im sorry I couldnt memorize the lines, I got the script last night…etc." Chances are, very often. When it comes down to it, 90% of apologies are done for one of two reasons: Justify and make Excuses, or To seek sympathy or pity by becoming the victim. NEITHER of these will help you in your career or to become a better actor. SO STOP doing it.

On the other 10% of the spectrum, we are human, and we all make mistakes, and if these mistakes genuinely hurt or hinder others then we not only should, but need to apologize sincerily. Its the only way you can maintain healthy relationships and not burn bridges in the industry when you mess up. So what does it take to really make a true heartfelt apology? The Simple Dollar breaks it down to 3 parts:

The Accuracy
An apology that actually works is one that shows that you have real insight into what you did wrong and the effects of that mistake. Doing that well takes some introspection and some willingness to admit that you do have specific faults.

When you realize you’re in a position where you need to apologize, step back for a bit and look at the situation. What exactly did you do wrong? It might be easy to point to a specific thing, but is that actually just one little piece of a larger thing?

The Delivery
There are three key points you need to get across when you deliver your apology.

“I did something wrong.” A real apology is an admission of fault. You made a mistake somewhere along the way – if you had not made a mistake, you would not be apologizing.

“What I did hurt you – and I recognize that.” Your fault, the one you admitted to, caused pain or difficulty for someone else. You need to recognize that if you want your apology to matter at all.

“What can I do to make amends?” Most of the time, an apology is sufficient for beginning to rebuild trust. Sometimes, however, more may be needed – perhaps you need to speak to someone else to repair a reputation, or maybe you should fix an item that you broke. Reaching out and offering to make these amends (and if you don’t know what they might be, offering to do what it takes) goes a long way towards cementing the sincerity of your apology.

The Sincerity
Most important of all, if you can’t be authentic about any of the above parts, don’t apologize at all. An insincere apology is transparent and does nothing to repair the situation. All it does is further damage your own reputation, not only in terms of the person you’re “apologizing” to, but to anyone else who hears about it.

Another note: a sincere apology never, ever expects an apology in return. An apology in the form of “I apologize, but I expect you to apologize in return” is not an apology – it’s a request for someone to apologize to you.

For the full article on Simple Dollar… Click Here.

P.S. I also use one small trick: imagine you are your favourite actor/actress. How do they address others? How would they talk? Move? Smile? Act?How would their voice sound? Calm? Funny? Excited?

The truth is we do care what other people think about us. Why wouldn’t we? How others view us can make or break us in this industry. It’s how we get jobs, score auditions, get agents, make friends, and create enemies.

What others think of us, like it or not, contributes to our brand, and ultimately, to our success. Think about the brands you interact with on a daily basis – Starbucks, Coke, Dell, Google, Twitter.  What do these brands mean to you? Where would these brands be if they didn’t care what you thought?

When we say, “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me,” we really mean “I don’t care what some people think about me.” Or, “I don’t care what people think of me in this particular situation.”

If you’re Twitter, you probably don’t care what an 80-year-old woman who does not own a computer or have an email address thinks of you. But, what if Twitter didn’t care what anyone thought? Well, they probably wouldn’t be around very long. Of course, there are always going to be Twitter-haters, and maybe Twitter cares about what these people think and maybe they don’t. (We’ll get to haters in a minute.)

We almost always care about thoughts of the people who have a vested interest in our future. For most of us this will include:

Our spouse/partner
Our friends
Our parents/siblings/other family members
Our children
Our Directors/Producers (Bosses)
Our Agents
Our co-workers (the ones you respect, at least)
Our public/Audience
This isn’t to say that these people should approve of our every action. Or, that we should let these groups dictate who we are and what we do. That’s ludicrous. But, we tend to care what these people think about us because we respect them and their opinions of us (or, at the very least, we know they have some level of influence over us).

What about the haters?
It seems like there’s always someone who doesn’t like us, our craft, our ideas, our actions, whatever. This is a tough one because so often these haters can be convincing in their disdain for us. (some of us even have haters in the list above.) Here’s a question to ask to decide if you care: Do their values align with ours? If we stand for integrity and they don’t, then we may have a problem with each other. In some cases, we really shouldn’t care what these people think!

This is part of a 2 post series that deals with networking for those of you that… dont feel as comfortable doing it. Many actors are introverts. Many artists are introverts. But sadly the most recognized and working ones are usually the ones who overcome such obstacle (because lets face it, in this business, it IS and obstacle).

Are you an introvert?

• Does a crowded room of people overwhelm you?
• Do you feel drained after interacting with a lot of people?
• Would you rather be at home rehearsing a scene than at an event?

If you answered yes, you’re probably an introvert.

Being an introvert is different than being shy.Introverts would rather be alone because that’s how they can become energized, not because they’re scared to interact with others. Introverts don’t necessarily dislike socializing, they just generally prefer to be alone or with a small group. Al Pacino has confessed several times to being an extremely introverted and even shy person.

Why you should network

Since introverts prefer solitary activity, it can sometimes be difficult to convince yourself that you need to get out of the house and network. But, you do. (And, online networking doesn’t count in this case.)

Benefits to in-person networking:

• Learn from people you might otherwise not have met. In general, introverts enjoy learning. There’s a whole world of people to learn from out there and networking is a great way to meet them.
• Make connections with people who can help you. You could meet people who can help you find your next role, hook you up with a producer for the screenplay you’ve written, get you an interview with a great agent. You never know who you’ll meet when you’re at an event.
• Make connections with people you can help. Everybody loves to help other people – including introverts. You have a talent and probably a connection that can help someone else, and when you do, you’ll feel great about it. In this business you have to help others and here at BREAKALEGG we strongly support actors who do.

Where to start

If you’ve been avoiding networking – or attending any kind of social event, premiers… – because you don’t see the value or haven’t felt comfortable with it, follow these suggestions:

Use the buddy system
If you’re going to a networking event and you won’t know a lot of people, ask a friend to join you. It’s even better if your friend is an extrovert and can introduce you to a lot of people or is already in show-business. (We’ll talk about what to say once you meet these new people in Part 2.)

Downsides to the buddy system:

• You could neglect to network with anyone except for your friend.
• Your friend could totally ditch you and leave unprepared to go out on your own.

Pick a sit down
Sit down dinners and lunches make it a lot easier to network. All you have to do is find an open seat and introduce yourself to the people on either side of you.

Downsides to sit downs:

• You could pick a table where everyone else knows each other and totally leaves you out of the conversation no matter how hard you try.
• If you don’t know your dinner etiquette, you might turn people off. (Hint: Follow others, you’ll be fine.

Other networking tips

Give people something to talk about
Wear something memorable. Try a great necklace or brooch. You don’t have to go overboard, but people will talk to you if you stand out a little bit.

Get a drink
I’m not necessarily advocating for alcohol, but a drink in hand helps you seem more a part of the party. And, you might be able to strike up a conversation with the person behind you at the bar. Maybe its a Shirley Temple but the effect is the same.

Find someone alone
Walking into a crowded party where everyone else is talking can be a bit overwhelming. After you get your drink, scour the place for another lonely soul. There’s bound to be one somewhere.

Hang out by the food line
Food is a great conversation starter. “Oh don’t these stuffed mushrooms look wonderful!” Get a couple of appetizers and walk around. If you don’t find anyone to strike up a conversation with, get some more appetizers and try again.

Don’t dominate one person
Introverts enjoy deep conversations, not small talk. Pay close attention to the person you’re talking with to make sure they’re as engaged as you. You don’t want them to have to use drastic measures (e.g. faking an illness) to get out of the conversation with you.

Take breaks
It can be emotionally draining to be around all of these people for so long. Don’t let it get to you. Check your cell phone. Step outside. Visit the restroom. Take a break from the commotion so you could keep going.

Now you know why you should network and how to get started. In Part 2, we’ll answer the question: What do I say once I meet someone?

Article by Angela

This is the biggest thing in auditioning as far as I’m concerned.  It’s sometimes hard to fathom just how many people the casting folk have to see on a daily basis.  The same is true for the university admissions folk as well. There are literally hundreds of thousands of people that want to be actors and as a general rule, they’re going to be attracted to the same opportunities to act as you are.

So, the things I’ve noticed that just seem to kill off enthusiasm and worse yet, the ENJOYMENT of acting are:

1- Seeing that kind of blank, empty look on the casting peoples faces at the end of your audition.

2- Hearing a plain old “thank you” at the end of your audition.

3- Not KNOWING and second guessing what the casting people may have wanted or not at the end of your audition.

Taken singularly, these things aren’t so bad.  But, pile them up day after day after day and they become very burdensome.  I think people that don’t act have a hard time understanding how tough it can be emotionally.  My ex-wife’s brother in law was a fairly prominent actor in his youth and he once told me something that always stuck with me.  He said “when people go on job interviews, they may go to two or three, sometimes even four or five, but they KNOW that sooner or later they’re going to get a job, It’s just a matter of time.”

But, then he said “but, imagine if after the 5th interview you didn’t get the job.  And then the next and the next and a year later it’s been 200 interviews and you still haven’t gotten a job.  How would you feel?”
And I said something like, “probably pretty low”

To which he replies, “that’s NORMAL for acting work.”

In our opinion you need a balance. Almost a split personality if you wish. You need to be able to not let criticism and rejection affect your decisions, but at the same time you need to be in touch with your feelings and those of others… For the full article… CLICK HERE.

To read the full article… Click Here.

We have all been there. You use google to search for someone you just met, to verify something a date told you, to find info on your favorite actor. But what happens when you do? You normally get both sides of the story. The good and the bad harsh critics. So if you are thinking of searching for yourself…be ready.

The obvious dangers of looking to see what others say of you is of course; finding something you dont want to see. Worse than that, you might even find things written from people you DO know and who might have even once been considered your friends. Or nasty little critics who may have absolutely nothing in common with you but still claim they know you, or they dated you once, or they know your ex…so on and so on…

In very few cases, if you have started to actually be known for your work, the worst you will find is a not-so-good review of your last role. But more often than not, an actors life is going to be surrounded by negativity, criticism, skepticism and even lies. The greater an actor, normally the worst it gets. You have to deal with it if you chose this profession, but if you rather not hear it, then dont google yourself, or read the gossip magazines, or try and find out who is talking about you…

On the other hand, curiosity killed the cat. So in my case at least, I cant help it. I just want a glimpse at what is put out there. Granted, I take in the good AND the bad, and take it all with a grain of salt because you never know whats coming next. So my advice to all you curious actors out-there trying to know what is said about them, their work…etc, is NEVER take ANYTHING on the internet TO HEART. The good can be just as harmful to you as a person as the bad, so it goes for those wonderful fanblogs out there that claim you are a natural star and sooo underrated! Dont believe that either. Let it feel good to know others think it, but dont think it yourself. You will be setting yourself for disappointment. And the bad stuff? Well, its just gonna “keep on coming’” so I would just try and get over it as soon as possible. But try and use what you can of negative critics. For example: did a critic say no one

can understand you and the tone of your voice is as false as can be? Well maybe he is the one with the problem, or simply a jerk. But…could it also be possible that you could benefit from taking some good voice classes? Think about what positive things you can get out of even the most horrid criticisms.

A note on gossip: mostly Ive been referring on “professional” comments on google. But what about those pictures of you on a date and a note saying its your lover when its just a friend. Or the picture of a “not so good day” on the beach where they make fun of your “Love-handles”? Well ladies and gentlemen, if you cannot deal with those things (And I in no way think they are right. There SHOULD be a law to forbid it) but being the way show-biz is now a days, then you probably shouldn’t be in the biz. It comes with the title and as hard as it is, you need to be graceful about it, and ignore every single piece of gossip that comes out. On you OR on any other actor. Dont get sucked in.